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Episodes
Part 1 | Chapter 9: Chicken Man Dan
When a man who looks like a grungy cult leader and wears a dried-up chicken claw around his neck asks you to come smoke pot in his apartment, here's why you should just say no.
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Part 1 | Chapter 8: Ninth and C
Hallelujah! Big John and I finally got out of living in seedy hotels and into our very own apartment. It was at Ninth Street and Avenue C in the heart of Alphabet City. And it turns out that it may have been something...
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Part 1 | Chapter 7: Porno Ice Cream
Because drinking beer and staring out the window all day didn't earn any money, I got my first paying job in NYC. It was at an ice cream shop where I learned a few lessons about airheads, nail hygiene and the proper...
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Part 1 | Chapter 6: Two Men and a Bathtub
Ooops. Appears my guardian angel had the day off when I ran into these two dudes. I still get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about this dastardly duo. Enjoy!Ā Ā
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āInspiring and concrete story of how to...
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Part 1 | Chapter 5: Two Men and a Dog
Every one of us has a guardian angel (or 30). Mine was definitely looking out for me when I crossed paths with these two guys and a dog during my early days in New York City.
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āInspiring and concrete story...
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Part 1 | Chapter 4: Skinheads and Fake Tattoos
You know those people who go around looking for trouble - and if they don't find it, they create it? Well, I met some of those one fine night on Avenue B. Find out what happens (and why I'm still alive).
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Part 1 | Chapter 3: One Man and a Puppy
The bowels of New York City can't be all that bad if there's a puppy involved, right? Find out. Here's where you'll also learn how to get out of kissing a scrawny squatter without making him mad.
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Part 1 | Chapter 2: New York City - 1988
Whoa. Ever wish you could just run away from it all? Well, I did. Landing in New York City in 1988. Here's a look at what happens when an angry suburban teen ends up in the homeless mecca known as Tompkins Square...
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Part 1: The Downfall | Chapter 1: Now What?
Welcome to what was once my messed-up life. Anyone who has ever felt like a total outcast will definitely relate to this chapter. Here you'll get the skinny on the bumbled beginnings of my drinking career -- at age...
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Introduction
Introduction to the book How to Get Through Hell on Earth Without Drinking a Keg or Kicking a Garden Gnome. Here you'll find out whether or not I actually ever kicked a garden gnome -- and what you can gain, learn and...
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